I WENT TO A FIGHT AND A GAME BROKE OUT

Today I wanted to talk about sports altercations. And I am not talking about a “TO-called-me-a-name” type of altercation and certainly not a “Lebron-didn’t-shake-my-hand-after-the-game” spat. I am talking about a sports fight. A fight in which two athletes try and rip into each other like two monkeys into a cupcake. A fight that makes you want to stomp your feet and grunt like Tim Allen. Now in order to talk seriously about sports fights you need to understand the different levels of athletic combat.

First, are the sports that are actually “fighting” sports. Great fighters such as Muhammed Ali and George Foreman were beloved for their ferocity and strength on their quest for the heavyweight title. But contemporary fighters now battle titles such as Junior-light-heavy-featherweight division; just saying it kind of demeans the whole thing. But nowadays even the boxers are not the “fighting” world’s elite. The national craze of ultimate fighting has continued to grow; I mean the name truly says it all. Essentially they grab the scariest men they can, lock them in a steel cage, give them tiny gloves and let them wreak havoc on each other’s bodies until one of them is a breath away from death. I can safely that these 21st-century gladiators get the nod for being the best at sporting altercations.

But let’s get real, that wasn’t much of a contest so let’s examine sports whose function isn’t to bash each other’s skulls in. The four major sports are attractive to fans even without fighting but on the occasion where one breaks out fans don’t seem to be disappointed.

It would surprise many that I have football at the bottom of this list. Yes it is true that football is the most physical of these sports but physical is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about sports fights and unless you go to Miami (FL) or Florida International you don’t have a great deal of football-fighting experiences. This isn’t a knock against football by any means because the players are able to get out their aggressions every play as they pummel each other into the turf.

Baseball on the other hand is not a sport that is steeped in tradition of being a bunch of tough guys. Each fight is nearly identical as a batter blitzes the mound and battles the pitcher. This slap fest leads to a bench-clearing affair in which the cavalry gallops in from the bullpen. Personally baseball fights always give me a little chuckle because it is a bunch of players wearing hats, tight pants and button down shirts fighting each other. Really? But how do these unauthorized slugfests begin. They begin in a way that I do not approve of.

I think that the most cowardly act in all of sports is when a pitcher beams a batter. I understand the need to brush him back to reclaim your real estate on the plate but to belt him in the head is just wrong and lame. If the pitcher wants to beam a batter I think the batter would be justified to bring his bat out to the mound and show him how it works. Let’s see how long the high and tight pitches would last.

Next is basketball, these guys are bigger, stronger and can pack a punch. Needless to say these guys like to take their sporting altercations to an interactive level (citing PACERS-PISTONS). This is something I personally do not condone. The only reason that basketball is #2 is because there is no chance that baseball is climbing any higher than where it is plus the fact that I would put Shaq against any player in Major League Baseball.

Maybe it’s biased, call it hockey elitism but hockey takes the honor of having the best fights. Hockey mixes the intelligence of baseball, physicality of football and athleticism of basketball and turns it into the fastest sport in the world. But it is common that this high-octane game halts for a brief moment to let its athletes’ tempers flare. In hockey they try to take off padding in order to inflict the most pain onto their adversary. They do not fight to throw a hissy fit and it certainly doesn’t begin by a beamed ball. They fight to jump start a comeback, defend a star and send a message.

Now hockey has the best fights in sports but I’m not sure what a hockey player would say if they encountered something like this…a bicycle fight. It is this fight that officially gets the Dishonorable Mention. Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET6QGBDzNkQ

If you would like to talk about sports some more, feel free to contact me at Nicholas.esposito@villanova.edu